I've tried to look up similar answers on Google but the posts on there just discuss small white lies in regards to making out they haven't forgotten during stories they tell.
I joined this forum around a month ago and wrote a post about how my grandma was starting to get quite snappy and nasty about me and my girlfriend going out, even an hour to the supermarket, since moving in with her to help her. But we both work 40 hour weeks and have errands to run outside of these hours like shopping, visiting family, or even just a social life the two of us etc.
She'd gotten quite nasty early September about it after I had a day visiting my friend about 60 miles away and my girlfriend visiting family the same day. Her niece had come to visit the following day, who she enjoys seeing often, and my mum had invited us out for an hour. When we said we were going, my grandma snapped that we were leaving her on her own. We said "you're not on your own, you've got (her niece) and she said "But not for long." So we invited her to come with us and she was angry we were rushing her niece out then.
Once she was calmer and having a good day, I explained that we don't want her getting upset over us going out and asked what her concerns were, she admitted she is fed up and hates being on her own, which we've known but we just can't get her to stimulate her mind in any way at all. Which I understand is part of the condition but we still try and encourage it to keep herself going.
Anyway, this is where it all began where I started questioning her behaviour. I gave her a week or two's notice that me and my girlfriend were going out on Wednesday night to see a comedian we like in our local arena.
My girlfriend had bought me the the tickets for Christmas way before even moving in with my grandma. That evening we got home about 11:30pm and straight to bed, but was up early to take my grandma on her weekly supermarket trip and to have her hair done. We came back feeling exhausted and went for an hour's nap.
I woke up an hour later to my grandma shouting my name from downstairs. When I got to her, she'd fallen over in the conservatory and struggled to get her up. Once up, we sat her on the sofa and she wasn't complaining of any pain at all. But started saying this is why she was hating us going out, in-case she fell over and had nobody to help her.
Though I explained to her that she wears a pendent for a telecare service, which had dialled at the time. I said once it dials to them they ring myself or my mum so she's never alone.
But I asked what she was doing that caused the fall. She struggled to explain but made out she was carrying a vase of flowers outside to tip the water out and was walking back in.
But I was thinking shortly afterwards that part of me isn't sure if I believe her;
For one, the vase was placed tucked away on the floor next to the door like it had been perfectly placed. I feel like if she was carrying the vase when she fell, it would have gone flying across the room and/or chipped/smashed in some way. Though she could have also put it down first, tried to grab a handle and still fallen. I really don't know. But then in terms of pain, she wasn't in any at impact, and any time we discussed the fall afterwards, she seemed to remember she was in pain with it. But then there's been the odd time she seems to walk fine on it. We saw her looking out of the window yesterday and within seconds she must have run back to the sofa and put the recliner up.
I don't know, it just seems suspicious she's getting angry about us going out, then we disappear for an hours nap not feeling 100% great, she falls carrying a vase that's perfectly placed, and first thing she says is this is why she doesn't like us being away or going out? Then the pain seems to come and go when it suits her?
In a different conversation, my step-dad made a comment about he thinks a lot of my grandma's pain is in her head, so I told him and my mum this story and it got them thinking and wondering.
She also refused to go to the doctors with it, until I forced her to, she did seem in genuine pain when the doctor touched her upper leg, but with the NHS in the way it is we've struggled to get her in for an x-ray, I am still trying though.
Like I said, I feel awful for not trusting her, especially if she did genuinely fall. But she has been getting so angry and bitter about going out, which isn't often we do I might add, typically run these errands on a Sunday when her niece is around so she's still got company. Or occasionally we'll nip out on a Saturday
